Joyce Rappeport, a resident of Princeton and an activist against domestic violence, has just been appointed to a two-year term as chair of Jewish Women International (JWI).

Her commitment to fighting domestic violence began a decade ago when she attended a program at the Jewish Center in Princeton where a congregant talked about domestic violence for a local JWI chapter. "I can still hear her story," said Rappeport, "and I remember thinking, 'As a community we need to do something.'"

Rappeport also recalled saying to Linda Meisel, the executive director of the Jewish Family and Children's Service of Mercer County, which was then Corner House, "If you ever want to do something about abuse, let's get together."

When Meisel moved to her current position at JFCS, she called Rappeport and asked her to work on Project Sarah, whose goal was to stop abusive relationships in the home.

Although the focus of Project Sarah was Jewish women, the organizers had to learn the basics of domestic violence and underwent 40 hours of training, with the help of Womanspace, a Princeton-area shelter, and other trainers. The committee that runs Project Sarah, of which Rappeport is still a member, runs rabbi trainings, provides speakers, and usually has a program during October, which is Domestic Violence Month.

Early on, the Jewish community's response to domestic violence was silence. A premium was put on keeping the family together, both by Jewish professionals and by the women themselves. Rappeport quoted a statistic that has stayed with her, and that she hopes may no longer be true: that Jewish women stay in an abusive marriage seven years longer than non-Jewish women.

Rappeport would like Jewish women to know that, although there are not many Jewish shelters, Project Sarah has developed a relationship with Womanspace and, when requested, will provide kosher meals for Jewish women and their children.

The reason women have been silent about abuse is mostly out of fear -- fear of the harm threatened by their husbands and fear that they might lose their children.

These husbands may abuse their wives psychologically as well as physically. Rappeport said she often finds stories of physical abuse so repulsive she can't speak of them, particularly when the couple is Jewish.

 "Anyone who gets married under a chuppah and says I love you--what does that say about love?" she asked.

Although it might seem that abusive husbands would never get custody of children, that has not always been the reality. Something that Rappeport said she could not believe until she took the training was that, even for women who are doctors, lawyers, and businesspeople, what the abusive husband has done is "taken away every semblance of you as a human being, taken every sense of who you are away from you, leaving you totally without a self-image," explained Rappeport.

Furthermore, these women are unlikely to have legal resources that match their husbands', and because of the emotional damage the husband has already done, the opposing lawyer can say, 'See, something is wrong with her--she is crazy.' As a result, women have lost their children.

Over time, Rappeport believes that JWI, whose mission is action, advocacy, and education, has made inroads. First of all, women are less frightened of sharing their travails and seeking help.

 "Every time we run a program people come out of the woodwork," she said.

Noteworthy also is increased representation from Orthodox women, who are beginning to share their anguish. "It is heart-wrenching to listen," Rappeport noted, "but I feel proud of these women who are able to come forth and say this is happening."

As a result of JWI's work, Rappeport also believes that rabbis are no longer encouraging women to go home to an abusive husband for the sake of keeping the family together, and women are probably more willing to seek help from their clergy.

JWI is trying to be there for these women, not with direct service but by finding ways to empower them. One focus is on economic security, "the idea that money is a vehicle to make you stronger," Rappeport said. JWI has put this issue on the communal agenda. "As Jews responsible for one another," she said, "we are concerned about the poor and hungry. These women have become poor and hungry, and Jewishly we're responsible and have to do something."

Although JWI is not a first-line caregiving organization, Rappeport said JWI gives these women whatever information it can to help themselves. "Within you is the ability to change your life. We are giving you the hook; take it, and go with it."

JWI also promotes economic security through preventive programs like Life$avings, a series of workshops that empower young women to start managing their money early in their careers. A JWI pamphlet states, "Life$avings will help women understand that with 'money of their own' they will enjoy greater options, freedom and personal safety than they will without personal savings or independently held resources." JWI is also starting to educate women early in life, with programs that teach teens about healthy relationships.

A fairly recent JWI effort has been the creation of children's libraries in women's shelters all over the country. "When women leave, they leave with the clothes on their backs, and, God willing, the children," Rappeport explained. "The children take nothing with them."

To provide these haunted children with a safe and happy space in the shelters, the libraries are filled with books, computers, stuffed animals, and places for kids and their mothers to sit and read.

"It's a pretty, pretty place," she said, "and we would like to see the community come to read to kids and spend time. The library says to the kids, 'you are important.'"

When children leave the shelter, they can take a book with them. As a result, the libraries have to be continually replenished, and JWI is always looking for people and corporations willing to donate books.

JWI is also committed to creating role models for women through its Women to Watch program, now in its tenth year.

"JWI looks around the country for Jewish women who have done substantive things in terms of their communities and their work," Rappeport said. Whether successful as a sports telecaster or a business owner or a community activist, the 10 women are selected to serve as role models. "Women need to hear 'I can' rather than 'I can't.' 'I can do these things.' 'I am capable.' We all need role models to move forward," Rappeport explained.

The popularity of the Washington luncheon where these women are honored each year has grown dramatically -- so much so that JWI keeps having to change the hotel for larger venues. "When we started, it was very small," Rappeport said. "Last year we had 700 [people], and this year there may be 1,000."

One last project of JWI is its Residential Treatment Center in Israel, started right after the Holocaust when children were coming to Israel alone, without parents or relatives. Today it serves the Israeli underclass and has a 60-percent success rate, which is high given the population it serves.

"I saw the center for the first time two years ago with a mission," Rappeport recalled. "The children are wonderful, and the staff is superb. It was a joyful place. People are working hard to make these kids strong so they can go back out."

"All these programs are empowering women and that's what's important," she said. "When women are in a domestic violence relationship, they see that there are programs and places to go to."

Rappeport is spending the summer trying to learning as much as she can so that in the fall, she can be out there spreading the word and raising finances "to do all programs we want to do and the great things that JWI is all about--ensuring that women are safe and economically strong."