More responses to JONAH article

I am writing to you because I am very concerned with your publication of the article, "Homosexuality: JONAH offers choice," in Volume 12, Number 23 on Nov. 9.

As a voice of the Jewish Community, you have a responsibility to provide non-biased news that is pertinent to the audience. This article, while not making a value judgment about the contents of the article, is in fact supporting the viewpoint of JONAH by featuring the article prominently above the fold on the front page, and thereby endorsing JONAH's philosophy that homosexuals can change their sexual identity. I do not want to make accusations without fully supporting them, so I will follow with some objections to the article.

Firstly, by naming homosexuality as, "SSA, same-sex attraction," it is treated as a disease or disorder, which is highly offensive to homosexuals who value their identities. Not to mention that the vast majority of the scientific community believes that homosexuality is not a choice, and therefore it would be wrong to treat someone as if they have a disorder that can be cured. It is not a disorder and can't be "cured"-- sexual orientation is part of a person's identity.

Arthur Goldberg's assertion that he doesn't "create a value judgment," is absurd because by offering to help people change their sexual orientation, he affirms that people can choose their sexuality and that they should change it so as not to be an 'undesirable' homosexual. He is privileging one lifestyle over another, which is a definite value judgment. Sexuality is not something we can or should change and something that should be accepted, provided it does not cause harm to anyone involved.

Goldberg argues that people are not born gay by asserting that there is no "gay gene." Goldberg completely glosses over the complexity of the development of a person's identity here. There are many traits about people that do not emerge simply from a gene.

Just as a person's behavior, intelligence, and personality are not determined directly by genes, does not mean that there is no biological influence that leads to their determination. Just because a "gay gene" hasn't been discovered, does not mean there isn't a genetic basis for sexual orientation.

It would be foolish to argue that simply because intelligence is not contained in a gene, that someone could just "decide" and work to be more intelligent. While people can focus on their studies and work on skills for learning, it is clear that people are different in this way. Biology and genetics may not be the sole contributors to sexual identity, but they cannot be ignored.

Similarly so, homosexuals don't just "decide" to be gay (given the difficulties associated and the blocks society puts in your way, such as having to endure painful "coming-out" to many people, facing discrimination, and living without the rights of heterosexuals, why would one make a choice in this case unless it was truly how someone felt or expressed his or her identity?). Though the scientific community does not fully understand the determination of sexual identity, they do believe that it results from a combination of "nature" and "nurture."

There have also been recent scientific articles about the discovery of the linkage of certain aspects of genes to sexual identity. While the result is unclear, it is unwise to dismiss homosexuality as a choice or an "emotional adaptation."

Goldberg's belief that homosexuality is caused by "emotional adaptation, typically to childhood pain" is also a harsh assertion. There is no scientific evidence that "a defensive detachment from the same-sex parent or enmeshment with the opposite sex parent" has any causal relationship to the formation of sexual identity. Even if there were some evidence to support this, I doubt that every homosexual has experienced such childhood pain for it to have led to emotional adaptation and arrival at their identity.

In order to have a credible scientific study, you need a large enough sample set to show conclusive results. Goldberg offers little in the way of actual facts and ignores contrary evidence, showing the weakness of his argument.

The fact that Goldberg says that homosexuals have a "gender deficiency" undermines gay people who live full and happy lives and again transfers them to the category of disabled or pathological. This is very hurtful and offensive to members of the gay community and dismisses their lifestyle as if it was scurvy -- all you need is some Vitamin C to cure the deficiency and then you'll be fine.

By also suggesting that development of a homosexual identity can be caused by sexual abuse and sibling wounds again puts homosexuality in a negative light and suggests horrible things that have not happened to most gay people. This "lack of value judgment" is the most judgmental I have ever seen. It makes blind assumptions without citing enough relevant evidence. It is clearly motivated to say that sexual orientation is arbitrary and easily-altered, yet it is not. This is harmful in that it reinforces the ideas and power structures that seek to stifle people from expressing their true selves.

By saying that JONAH only aims to help those who seek to change themselves also speaks to the way that gays are treated in the Jewish community. They must be treated very poorly and made to feel unwanted and bad about themselves that they would seek to transform a core element of their identity. Talk about wounding!

Understanding that traditional Judaism does not look upon homosexuality in the most unambiguously favorable light, there is still no reason that gay Jews should be treated as second-class human beings. The onus falls on the community to be accepting of Jews of all kinds -- young, old, sick, healthy, black, Indian, converts, etc.

JONAH claims to be welcoming and accepting of homosexuals; however by only accepting those who want to rid themselves of their homosexual identities, JONAH is, in effect, being distinctly unwelcoming and un-accepting. This shows that they privilege heterosexuality and do not accept homosexuals -- only those who are "on their way back" to heterosexuality.

Goldberg also invalidates the Jewish life of gay Jews by saying that they have been "led astray in terms of [themselves]; [they]'ve been led astray in terms of [their] relationship with the community at large; and [they]'ve been led astray in terms of [their] relationship with God." What about gay Jews who have active roles in their communities and are very much in touch with themselves, and with God? What about Congregation Beth Simchat Torah, a gay synagogue in New York City? Are the synagogue members alienated from themselves, their community, and God?

Goldberg's comment is again offensive and invalidating. Just because someone thinks that gay people are alienated, doesn't mean they are. It is audacious to make yourself the spokesperson for a group of which you are not a member.

Just because someone does not practice Judaism the way you think it should be practiced, does not mean that he or she is detached. Goldberg needs a lesson in humility and should question the absolutist claims he makes.

Goldberg expresses in the article that "the ability to 'change' a person's sexual preference is often strongly questioned in the scientific community." This is true and this is the general consensus of the scientific community. He attempts to show that there is more support for his view of "change" by citing Dr. Robert Spitzer's 2001 study on the subject showing that "highly motivated" individuals could "successfully" change their sexual orientation.

However, when it was presented to the American Psychiatric Association, it was immediately disavowed because it had not been peer reviewed (the mark of true, verifiable, scholarship). The APA stated "There is no published scientific evidence supporting the efficacy of reparative therapy as a treatment to change one's sexual orientation." The paper has also been criticized on grounds that it is invalid due to use of non-random sampling and poor criteria for "success."

It is certainly valuable to keep families together, however if a husband or wife is homosexual, it is incredibly wrong to try to sublimate their identity for the sake of a marriage. While marriage should not be abandoned lightly, it should not be held above an individual's happiness or sense of identity.

When happy people are true to themselves as individuals, a happy marriage results, as long as they are also true to their partners. Unhappy people will lead to an unhappy marriage.

Since you can't change your sexuality, then you need to "change" the marriage because that is what is healthiest for everyone involved. By happiness I don't mean hedonism, but a feeling of self-fulfillment, as opposed to unhappiness, which would be a lack of meaning in or love for life.

Goldberg's belief that it is important to embrace a gay child unconditionally is positive, though even encouraging the child to change his or her identity can be psychologically damaging. The comparison of a homosexual identity to using drugs and alcohol is incredibly offensive and equates a person's identity with illegal acts that often are punished. Goldberg's "non-value judgments" are so heavily judgment-laden that it is difficult to bear.

In conclusion, the article about JONAH and its founder Arthur Goldberg, offends and concerns me deeply. The question is not "why not change our sexuality," but why are we privileging certain ways of expressing one's identity over others when they are all legitimate, as shown by scientific, psychological, and social scientific studies.

What is so frightening is that Goldberg thinks he is doing the right thing. However, he brings too many assumptions to the table and selectively chooses which studies he wants to accept, which happen to be the less credible ones.

He assumes, naively, that what happens when people identify with one parent over the other or are made fun of determines everything. It is simple-minded and devoid of any true scientific, social-scientific, or psychological data.

For The Jewish State to give them a forum -- especially such a prominent one -- without presenting a contrasting viewpoint is not right. I am uncomfortable reading the paper and feeling a connection with a Jewish community that sponsors such rhetoric without providing both sides.

I hope that in choosing articles in the future you will carefully consider your selection and ensure that there are two sides to every issue. I appreciate the service that The Jewish State offers the community and I hope that you will continue to uplift and enrich the entire Jewish community.

First I'd like to honor your publication for printing the Nov. 9 article on JONAH.

One of the great misconceptions around this controversial subject is the mission behind JONAH and other reparative therapy programs like them. Many believe, or want to believe, that these programs try to brainwash their participants about choice.

As a grateful member, I assure you, no such conditioning exists. In fact, it is very clearly explained that their program is designed for those unhappy in their current situation and desire change. It's a completely free choice.

They insist that if someone is happy where they are, they should stay put where they are. I can attest to that since I personally tethered back and forth between the 'lifestyle' and the program before recommitting back to the program about a year ago.

They listened to me and accepted me in the same way whether I conformed to their beliefs or not at the time. There is an abundance of love throughout the staff and members alike.

I cannot say the same for all my friends in the 'lifestyle.' They saw me joining such a program like JONAH as a threat to them. Why? I wasn't trying to change them, I was only trying to change myself.

For some reason, those in the 'lifestyle' find programs like JONAH a threat. The question is, why? They, reparative therapy programs, explicitly state they only wish to help those that want it, they are not looking to change those that are happy in the 'lifestyle.'

Furthermore, "change" is a relative word. While I empathize with the woman who writes about her pain in her marriage, it clearly doesn't define all such marriages. Each case is individual and change occurs at the rate of how much the person seeking the change invests in his program.

Anyone can say they tried and failed. The question is how seriously they tried or how badly they wanted it. A man who is challenged with SSA can have many other positive traits to keep his wife content. He can also make a great father.

In all recovery programs, there are elements of success and failure. Ones' success doesn't guarantee and others' success, yet at the same token ones' failure doesn't define the whole program as a failure. One must never give up, no matter what. That is not to say we won't fall once in a while. So what.

May we all merit to be a part of The Final Redemption in our days. With love,

As the parent of a "LGBTA" child, it is time someone heard from us. We are the parents; we are the silent people on the sidelines trying to figure out what happened. We have searched long and hard for information and all too often find only the politically correct and erroneous information that people are born that way. The letters from those who oppose your article on JONAH clearly represent that point of view and they do so based on prejudice, without any meaningful review of the actual scientific literature.

As parents, we all must realize that Same Sex Attraction is not a conscious choice. Same Sex Attraction occurs because of unfilled emotional needs, perhaps even "naturally", through one's subconscious. However, please keep in mind, just because something may be natural does not immediately relate to something to be desired in your life.

Our children are fine, upstanding, intelligent, sensitive, and intuitive people. They desire and deserve to be welcomed and embraced by all. Everyone wants to feel loved and respected. The way to do this is to provide newspaper articles like yours, which presents a point of view all too often repressed and denied. By doing so, all of us as community members have the ability to learn about choices to overcome unwanted same sex attractions. That is true diversity and represents true freedom of speech.

Bravo to you for providing important information that I wish my child and the rest of my family had years ago. As the parent of a self-identified homosexual child, I can unequivocally state that such information was simply not easily available when we searched for answers. With the information that JONAH provides, a great tragedy in our family could have been averted.

The political correctness in this country is going to be our downfall. When our son told us he was gay, I thought the search we did for information was detailed, and it turned up nothing about people that heal or change. The gay agenda had done an extraordinary job of getting their Web information to come up first. Just by the grace of God did I find a book by Richard Cohen, "Coming Out Straight" -- not in my state of Arizona (the book stores here were a joke), but a bookstore in the California desert. I read it immediately and noticed an endorsement from Arthur Goldberg from JONAH in the credits. An email was sent without a phone number and to my delight, Arthur tracked me down with the Internet. That conversation was the open door I needed to find information.

I have since amassed quite a bit of it and am convinced no child is born gay. I am convinced God is a God of order. He is not asleep at the switch some days thereby making some children "gay". Children turn out with same sex attractions for a reason, which unfortunately is very complicated, yet incredibly simple when you break it down into the ten basic contributing factors outlined in Richard Cohen's Book.

Your article not only opens the door to let everyone know there is help available. It will also save lives and families. You are bold, you are fearless, and like the tiny state of Israel, you have taken an honorable stand against incredible odds. We salute you and humbly thank you for giving hope and information to those who really, really need it.

If there is anyone out there that would like me to e-mail the articles compiled as the result of my studies, my email is joseschwartz@cybertrails.com. As we have learned over the years, the truth will set you free É but not until it pisses you off first.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share what I have learned.