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After falsely accusing his brothers, Joseph finally relented and revealed his true identity. The brothers traveled back to Canaan with gifts and a mission to bring their families, including their father, back to Egypt.

"And they (Joseph's brothers) related to him (Jacob) all the words that Joseph had spoken to them, and he saw the wagons that Joseph had sent to transport him. Then the spirit of their father Jacob was revived" (Genesis 45:27).

Joseph's brothers regretted not being merciful to Joseph when he begged them not to sell him. Now, it was time to relate the story to their father.

Nahmanides (1194-1270; Genesis 45:27) maintains Joseph's brothers never told Jacob they sold Joseph into slavery, fearing Jacob would curse them, just as he had rebuked Shimon and Levi for attacking the city of Shechem to avenge their sister, Dina. Because of his integrity and ethics, neither did Joseph tell Jacob the true story. Rather, Jacob died thinking Joseph simply got lost, was kidnapped, and taken to Egypt.

The Kli Yakar (16th century) adds that when Joseph revealed himself, he also prevented Benjamin from hearing the full story. "Come close please... and said I am Joseph whom you sold to Egypt" (Genesis 45:4). Benjamin wasn't yet born when Joseph was sold into slavery.

According to the Kli Yakar, had Jacob known the full story, he would have instructed Joseph to swear to never take revenge. If Benjamin heard the full story, he would have told his father. Obviously, this never happened.

Joseph forgave his brothers. There was nothing constructive to be gained from telling his father or brother what had transpired so Joseph kept the story a secret; it would have remained a secret had Hashem not revealed it to us through the Torah.

Joseph was separated from his family, sold into slavery, imprisoned, and nearly killed. Yet, what happened between Joseph and his brothers remained between them. No matter how hurtful an individual might have been, if an issue was resolved, basic decency dictates to keep the matter private. Unless there's a true need to publicize damaging information, private matters are best kept private.

Rabbi Chaim Lobel is spiritual leader of Young Israel of Aberdeen.
www.yiaberdeen.com