![]() Wedding canopy is woven out of memories
Jacob Kamaras THE JEWISH STATE January 15, 2010
Lia Pasichow and Ryan Haimson didn't stand under a run-of-the-mill wedding canopy. Thanks to the efforts of Lia's East Brunswick mother, the fabric of their chuppah came from Italy, California, Florida, Israel, Spain, and Massachusetts, and in some spots was 75 years old. Once Lia and Ryan got engaged, Rachel Pasichow began recruiting family members and friends on both sides to donate fabric for the chuppah at her daughter's November 2009 wedding. By the time Rachel was done, the 8-by-8-foot canopy consisted of pieces from wedding gowns, dinner napkins, tablecloths, bedding, antique dress gloves, costumes, blouses, and many other items of love, memories, and symbolism. Woven into the heirloom were a 75-year-old curtain sash, Lia's grandmother's initialed handkerchief, Ryan's mother's wedding dress, and Ryan's great-uncle's handkerchief from World War II. Rachel, a teacher who found most of the time to work on the project during the summer before the wedding, said that "each piece of fabric told its own story." "I just was very determined to create something for Lia and Ryan that they would have forever to remember their wedding and their family by," Rachel said. On the top side of the chuppah, in the center, a patch with Lia and Ryan's names and wedding date (Nov. 7) leaves space for what they hope will lead to the design of a family tree, since they intend for future couples in the family to use the same chuppah for their weddings. When Lia's uncle Jerry pricked his finger on one of the chuppah's pins, even that represented a contribution to the heirloom. "We teased him that some of his DNA was on the chuppah," Rachel said. Lia said she was aware of her mother's efforts leading up to the wedding, but had no idea what to expect out of the chuppah. "When I saw it, the final product, it just totally blew me away," Lia said. "The fact that all the people we love contributed to it and are a part of it was really nice." The fact that the wedding gown of Ryan's late mother Marsha was incorporated into the chuppah was particularly moving for Toby Schafer of Manalapan, who said she was "like a sister" to Marsha and that "Ryan is like a second son to me." In honor of Marsha, Schafer held Lia's gown at the ceremony. Fabric from the sleeves of Marsha's wedding gown point to a heart in the center of the heirloom. "It was really an emotional time for me to see Ryan get married without his mom there," Schafer said. Schafer also contributed trimmings to the chuppah from the old workshop of her parents, who survived the Holocaust and were tailors in Brooklyn. When she took the trimmings years ago, Schafer said to herself, "one of these days I'll use them for something." Lia and Ryan's wedding proved to be the perfect time. Friends and family members all wrote special messages to Lia and Ryan explaining their contributions to the chuppah. Roberta and Bob Silver wrote that, "In and of itself, this piece of cloth has no special meaning for us. It will gain significance only by the use to which it is put -- becoming a part of your chuppah. Mazel Tov and best wishes." Joyce Apanowitz, and Rhonda and Brad Teitel, wrote: "This is a dinner napkin that symbolizes all the holiday dinners we shared and all the chicken soup Ryan enjoyed." Rachel, who designed several of the nine central squares and sewed the chuppah together, didn't do all of the handiwork herself. Linda Levine, a family friend, helped design the layout of the chuppah and was the quality control supervisor. Lia's aunt Robin and grandma Evelyn also contributed to the design of a square, and Schafer worked with Rachel to gather the fabric and donated lace. "It was such a meaningful piece and it meant so much to work on it, because I knew it would be a lifelong thing," Schafer said.
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