Rabbi Ron Isaacs
January 16, 2009
I am pleased and continue to be gratified by your questions and comments regarding "Ask the Rabbi". As always I look forward to receiving your emails and invite those who have questions not to be shy and to ask. Enjoy this month's installment of questions and answers!
1. Can a person have more than one bar mitzvah in his lifetime?
Yes! When one reaches the age of 83, it is customary in some congregations to honor that person with a second bar mitzvah. This can provide a wonderful chance for family, relatives, and friends to celebrate an important lifetime milestone and ought to be encouraged. Several persons in my congregation celebrated a second bar mitzvah, and it was truly a joyous occasion.
2. What are the occasions when Jews get to use their Hebrew names?
Hebrew names will often be used in religious school, when teachers address kids using their Hebrew or Jewish names. They will also be used and needed when called to the Torah for a Jewish life cycle event. Thus, every bar and bat mitzvah will be called to the Torah with their Hebrew name. Hebrew names are also used on the Jewish marriage contract (ketubah), and are used too when praying for those in need of healing. Finally, Hebrew inscriptions are often seen on Jewish tombstones as well.
3. Why must mourners sit on hard boxes during shiva?
It is a misconception and erroneous to think that a mourner must sit at home on a hard box during the observance of shiva. Jewish law does not require that mourners sit on boxes. The law merely obligates mourners not to sit on chairs of normal height. This is a way for the mourners to demonstrate that they have reached a low point in life because the loss of a loved one. Some explain the custom as a way of expressing the desire to stay close to the earth in which a loved one is now buried. Other scholars base the custom of sitting on low stools on the Bible's description of Job, who, having suffered misfortune, was comforted by friends who sat with him "on the earth."
Sephardic communities do not use stools to the same extent as Ashkenazic Jews. Jews who follow the Moroccan and Judeo-Spanish tradition often sit directly on the floor, while Syrian Jews sit on the floor but use thick pillows to lessen the discomfort.
Rabbi Ron Isaacs is the spiritual leader of Temple Sholom, a Conservative congregation in Bridgewater. He has recently published biographies of Abraham Joshua Heschel and Judah Touro (Torah Aura Productions). Contact him at www.rabbiron.com or "Ask the Rabbi," c/o Rabbi Ron Isaacs, Temple Sholom, P.O. Box 6007, Bridgewater, NJ 08807.