Kallah fund brings simcha to Gaza evacuees

By Sarah Morrison

July 4, 2008

The 1,800-plus families affected by the Gush Katif pullout in the summer of 2005 do not refer to themselves as a disengaged community; they refer to themselves as victims of an expulsion.

The families in the 17 Gaza settlements of Gush Katif literally had nothing left after being forced to leave everything behind nearly three years ago. Most had lost their agricultural jobs, a very successful business in the area. (Gush Katif farming was famous for implementing the newest technologies, including how to grow vegetables in sand for bug-free vegetables and maximizing the land's potential as much as possible.) Families that once had money could barely make ends meet. Those that built beautiful homes from scratch now resided in hotel rooms and caravans scattered across Israel. Children's education was disturbed, parents needed to start their professional lives over again.

Despite the tragedies that these families faced, the people of Gush Katif had to rebuild. But how? The physical aspects of their lives were literally not there. Emotionally, however, nothing changed: young couples were still getting engaged. But where do they go from there? Neither side of the family has a permanent roof over their heads, let alone enough money to finance a wedding and help the new couple live independently.

"The Gush Katif residents were functioning residents of society," said Shoshana Schilit, founder of the Gush Katif Kallah (bridal) Fund. "Being in need is very difficult for them. We didn't want to embarrass them by giving these practical household items. The concept of a bridal shower is unheard of in Israel — brides wouldn't understand why they are getting gifts. Attending an event so public would be embarrassing for them. A few friends and I came up with a way to help these brides without them feeling poor and helpless."

Schilit, who resides in Beit Shemesh, Israel, organized an event to collect practical wedding gifts for the Gush Katif brides. She received refreshments, the hall, entertainment, and a speaker as donations to the cause.  More than 150 women attended the event and another 150 came to drop off a gift. A raffle brought in extra money for the brides. As a result of that day, six young couples were showered with practical household appliances and love.

The event was such a success that it was essential that the word spread. The Gush Katif Kallah Fund was born.

"I told my daughter-in-law's mother about the event I put together," Schilit said. "She then put together a bridal shower for her community [of Efrat, Israel.] A lot of powerhouse voices who could spread the idea live in Efrat, including Sharon Katz [editor of "Voices" magazine]. I knew I couldn't take the project further alone, so I asked Sharon for help. Sharon glued the pieces together. With her connections, she came up with this incredible division of responsibility. One person keeps a database of what gifts we have, another gets in touch with brides and grooms."

The result, she said, has been nothing short of fantastic.

"These couples cry out of gratitude," Schilit said. "They're overwhelmed that the Jewish people haven't forgotten their plight and that perfect strangers wanted to give them wedding gifts. Now, instead of being too uncomfortable to ask for help, the Gush Katif brides turn to us since we have been in operation for over two and a half years."

A Gush Katif Kallah Fund shower looks to collect household items to give to the new bride and groom, such as a hot plate, toaster oven, and bed sheets. In addition to supplying couples with items such as these, they also receive money that was left over from buying gifts to use at their discretion.

Since Schilit's first event, more than 250 young couples have received gifts and cash from the Gush Katif Kallah Fund. They meet their financial goals with the help of the American Jewish community as well. Each bridal shower is paired with a community in America that raises money to purchase appliances; the shipping costs of donating appliances are too outrageous to donate an actual item. There have been at least one dozen fundraisers across the country, including two in New Jersey. Schilit is constantly looking for more communities to either host a parlor meeting or a fundraising event for the brides.

"Everyone involved in the Gush Katif Kallah Fund is constantly networking through family and friends in America," Schilit said. "I'm in charge of organizing bridal showers in America because I come here frequently. There are some very big communities that we haven't gone to yet, but we are reaching out with every connection we have."

With every fundraiser and parlor meeting that's arranged, Schilit stresses that this is not giving charity, but celebrating in the happiness of a fellow Jew.

"This is celebrating somebody's simcha (happiness) by giving them gifts," Schilit emphasized. "The way we felt their pain at the loss of their communities is the same emotional connection we want to have in their happiness as they marry off a child."

The Gush Katif Kallah Fund also demonstrates to the people of Gush Katif that they have not been forgotten by the greater community.

"Our first kallah had a mother paralyzed by depression," Schilit said. "Their family literally lost everything — in addition to losing their business and their home, the container that held all their belongings was invaded by mice and everything was unusable. The bride was helped by her aunt with her wedding preparations, and every time her aunt tried to approach her sister, she would say, 'Leave me alone; I just want to die.' The first kallah event stemmed from hearing this unfortunate story. She became the organization's first bride. She received all the household gifts that her parents couldn't provide, and partially due to this outpouring of kindness, her mother began to come out of her depression and dance joyfully at her daughter's wedding."

Not only is the Gush Katif Kallah Fund around to support and supply new couples with essential items they need to build their own homes, they are around for the emotional support of the community that, in better times, gave their all to their fellow Jews.

"The families of Gush Katif are very proud people," the Kallah Fund Web site reads. "They always give charity. They did not accept charity. These gifts are items that the parents of every bride and groom would have happily given their children, had times been different. We are enabling Gush Katif parents to help their children start out on a positive footing."

To organize a bridal shower fundraiser for your community, contact Shoshana Schilit at srschilit@yahoo.com.