End of an era: MAYHS honors founding principal

By Seth Mandel
May 23, 2008

A high school atmosphere, with its youngsters coming of age and its myriad competitive teams and clubs, can be unpredictable. But Moshe Aaron Yeshiva High School has had two constants in each of its 15 years: Principal Rabbi Dovid Wadler, and the trust and support the Jewish community has given him.

"To know him is to love him," MAYHS Past President Bernie Leff said to the friends, family, current students, former students, colleagues, and other well-wishers who came to honor Wadler May 18, at a dinner hosted by Congregation Ahavas Achim of Highland Park.

Wadler, the only principal the South River high school has had, will be stepping down after this year to fulfill a lifelong dream of making aliyah.

Current school President Dr. Jesse Mintz welcomed the room full of those who had come to thank Wadler "for his foresight, dedication, and years of commitment to MAHYS as our founding principal, and primary educational leader, since day one."

Gary Rosenblatt, editor and publisher of the New York Jewish Week, gave the keynote address, and spoke about the ways to strengthen Israel-Diaspora ties. Wadler's life and work, Rosenblatt said, has set an example for the Jewish community to follow.

"One key area, and I think that's what's so appropriate this evening, is Jewish education, Torah study," Rosenblatt said. "And another key area is aliyah. And that's where you, Rabbi Wadler, are a source of inspiration -- for what you've accomplished over these last 15 years in working with young people, and for your commitment to translate your love of Zion into tachlus by settling in Israel."

Highland Park resident Rena Bannett said that as a former teacher at the school and parent of four MAYHS graduates, she had three things to thank Wadler for.

"The first is for committing yourself to finding not just one, but several rebbeyim that my children could call 'rebbe'; I remember the first time you told me that that was your plan, and you did it," Bannett said.

The second, Bannett said, was for the respect Wadler accorded each and every one of his students by personally addressing issues with them instead of their parents. Third, she said, she called Wadler after each school year that she had children in the school and offered her opinion on what worked and what didn't.

"And he was very patient and very kind, and often listened -- that means he always listened, but often I saw changes," Bannett said. "And even if I didn't, I felt there was someone there who was listening -- a thinking, designing person behind the school."

The school and its students, Bannett said, have been enriched by Wadler's leadership.

"And even in your leaving the school, you're modeling yet another vital vision and value for all of us to emulate, by moving back home where we all belong," she said.

The school began in a room in the Rutgers University Hillel building with its first girls class in 1994. In 1996, the school added a boys division and moved to the Highland Park Conservative Temple on South Third Avenue, and then finally to its current building in South River in 1998.

Ariella Davidovitch recalled her freshman year in that Hillel building in 1995 and each subsequent move. Every step of the way, she said, Wadler guided the school to its successes and milestones with wisdom and compassion.

"Three buildings and 11 graduating classes later, you have turned the school into a flourishing educational institution which continues to grow," Davidovitch said. "Rabbi Wadler, your warmth, kindness, patience, and support were evident all throughout. You've helped developed the characteristics in each one of us that have allowed us to succeed."

Rabbi Buddy Berkowitz was the first rebbe of the boys' division, and continues to be a rebbe and trusted advisor to the MAYHS students. He said Wadler has too many great character traits to pinpoint one that stands out above the others, but noted that Wadler has an unmistakable talent for solving problems.

"In a world where people make complications and throw in monkey wrenches, and make things more complicated when you walk out than when you walk in -- you don't know if you're coming or going, one of Rabbi Wadler's greatest qualities is that he knows how to give solutions," Berkowitz said.

The student tribute was written by Leora Lax and read by Matla Rivenson, both MAYHS class of 2009. Leora wrote that the school is known for its friendly and supportive environment, which is to Wadler's credit.

"Our school, which has such a wonderful, warm, and homey atmosphere, is but a reflection of its unsurpassed principal, Rabbi Wadler," Leora wrote.

Wadler, Leora wrote, always knows what to say and what to do to help his students.

"We learn from you; you have inspired us to emulate your ways," she wrote.

Wadler wasn't the only one the community had gathered to honor Sunday night. Spanish and Hebrew instructor Lory Stricker read aloud a "help wanted" ad written for the occasion. The job requirements are as follows, Stricker said: Your day will begin at the break of dawn, and you'll be out the door by 6:45 a.m. Two bridges and an hour of travel time -- depending on traffic -- later, you'll arrive for 8 a.m. davening. The school day goes to about 5 p.m., but with meetings all week you'll be lucky to make it home before 10 p.m. most nights.

"It's 10 p.m., do you know where your husband is?" Stricker said, looking to Wadler's wife, Frieda. "The person we are looking to hire here is a replacement for the eishet chayil that Rabbi Wadler is taking with him to Israel. For 15 years, she had to endure that schedule, and did it with a graceful smile, making sure that Rabbi Wadler did not miss a day. And not a day has gone by at MAYHS that she has not made the entire faculty and the school part of her life, part of her own family. On Friday night, everybody recites Eishet Chayil, and we all say 'eishet chayil mi yimtzah?' Rabbi Wadler: eishet chayil ata matzatah."

After the entire faculty took the stage to present Wadler with a gold watch -- to symbolize, according to MAYHS' Rabbi Avraham Krawiec, the sheer volume of time Wadler dedicated to his students, faculty, board, and everyone else associated with the school -- Wadler addressed the room.

He told the audience that he and Frieda had planned to move to Israel after they married, but family obligations kept them in the states. They spent winter and summer vacations in Israel, and eight years ago purchased an apartment in Jerusalem.

"We believe that living in Israel is a twofold issue," he said. "On a selfish level, we want to live in the land promised and given to us by hakadosh baruch hu. In Israel, we come alive; we feel, and even look, differently when we are there."

On the other hand, he said, he and Frieda feel an obligation to show God that they truly and deeply care about Israel.

"We must recognize that His gift is not a Disneyland, a mere vacation paradise," Wadler said. "We realize that in order to deserve His gift, we have to show our love and appreciation for it -- we must live there."

When they purchased their apartment, the intifada had just begun, he said, and they were often asked if they really wanted to live there. Wadler said that a pasuk in Jeremiah, about the return of the Jewish people to their land, gave them the strength to continue to pursue the move.

Wadler then turned his remarks to his time at MAYHS, and began by thanking Frieda.

"I was one of those lucky people who whistled on his way to work, and whistled on his way home," Wadler said.

He thanked his late grandfather and his parents for their influence; he thanked his mentor and all those associated with MAYHS, including Rabbi Dovid Komet, who has been a rebbe at the school and will be taking over as principal next year; and he thanked his children.

"I know raising parents is not easy; you guys did a great job," he said.

He said he was also thankful for a few well-timed miracles that helped the school along. One, he said, happened when they moved to the Highland Park Conservative Temple: the movers had moved all the lockers from the previous location to the center, but hadn't put them back together. All he had for lockers was a pile of sharp metal strips -- until, that is, the day before school started.

"And I'm sitting in my office," Wadler recollected, "taking care of a thousand details, when there's a knock at the door, and there stands some shabby, ill-kempt gentleman who says 'Can I bother you for a moment?'"

Remaining true to his open-door policy, Wadler invited the man in. He told Wadler that he needed train fare for a trip to Trenton, but that he wasn't asking for charity -- he wanted to work for it.

"I opened my drawer and I pulled out a screwdriver... and I said 'You see that pile of lockers? If you put this together, I'll give you your ticket to Trenton.' And he did," Wadler said.

Another miracle took place on a Thursday night before the school shabbaton. The girls' buses had already come and taken the girls to the hotel, but the boys' buses were nowhere to be found. Wadler called the bus company, who had given the contract to a different bus company, who had then given the contract to a third company, which had gone out of business by the time the shabbaton rolled around.

Wadler went to the waiting students to tell them that there would be no buses, and they'd try again in the morning.

"So I went downstairs and I made my speech," Wadler recalled. "And as luck would have it, somehow, I have no clue how, my cell phone had turned on and had dialed my wife. This was unintentional. So there I was giving my speech, and the phone rings in my house and my wife picks up the phone and she hears her husband making this speech about how there are no buses."

Frieda was a teacher at another school, and her co-worker was married to a bus driver. She called the school office and had them put Wadler on the phone.

"Dovid, do you want me to get you a bus?" Wadler remembered Frieda asking. "And she did, and she saved the day. And the buses showed up 40 minutes later and the shabbaton was saved."

Throughout his 15 years at the school, Wadler said, there have been many miracles.

"As we outgrew the Hillel building, the Highland Park Conservative Temple was available; as we outgrew that, the building in South River was available; when I decided to make aliyah, Rabbi Komet was available, and that's a miracle, too," he said.

Wadler left the audience with one piece of advice: If someone means something to you, tell them. That's a lesson he learned, he said, as parents, students, and colleagues each took the time to tell him how much he meant to them during his time at MAYHS. It has given him strength, and made his life "wonderful," he said.

"And I can't thank you enough for all that friendship," Wadler concluded. "Toda rabbah."