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Fireworks can happen twice in a relationship - once at the beginning, and again at the end, when the relationship explodes in a fit of fireworks like those on the Fourth of July.

This column is about Jodie and Manuel, a couple who met in February and dated for four months. They first met at a party, spending that evening dancing, and the courtship began. By March, they were a full-on couple. That magical night when they defined their relationship, he said he was looking for a serious and stable relationship, specifically a long-term relationship. And she agreed she was looking for the same thing. That same night he told her he loved her.

"No you don't," Jodie said. "It's too soon for that." From there, he started making plans. Every day, he would come over and the two would do things together - shopping, movies, playing basketball, surfing, etc. During the day, they both worked, but nights were saved for each other. "He was constantly making plans for us," Jodie explained.

Jodie, 26, is a beautiful Jewish blond, grad student and teacher, earning her Ph.D. in sociology. She's a very strong, capable woman. Manuel, 34, is a post-doctorate in neuroscience at a local university.

While this relationship was developing, the couple went to Las Vegas for a romantic weekend, and he started talking about marriage. This conversation started maybe a month into the relationship. Meanwhile, he was always checking to make sure Jodie wanted the commitment.

"He was constantly showering his love and affection with public displays (always PDA), singing Italian opera outside the balcony of my apartment, and just constantly courting me and paying attention," Jodie said.

Everything was going great for the passionate couple. "We had the same interests, liked the same foods, laughed at the same things and made the same jokes," Jodie said. Everything appeared wonderful until Tuesday night, July 1.

Back up one night to Monday. Manuel called and told Jodie he'd had a bad day at work and needed time alone. "I was disappointed because we had plans, but I understood and asked if there was anything I could do. And he said no. He just needed to be alone," Jodie said.

Tuesday night. Manuel came over, and they discussed the previous evening. "We both knew he had to go back to Spain eventually," she said. She asked him if his boss had told him he had to return in September. "He said that in all his previous relationships, he'd only seen his girlfriends one or two times a week. And in our case, we are seeing each other five to six times per week. He said he can't afford to be in such a relationship and that he needs time to be with his friends," Jodie recalled.

But the two of them had spent much time with Manual's friends so Jodie didn't quite understand where he was going with this.

So Jodie asked in response: "Would you be comfortable with seeing me twice a week?" And he said, "No, you wouldn't be able to handle a relationship like that," she said. "He went on by saying that I was dependent on him and that I needed to see him everyday. And he wants to see someone only twice a week. He continued by saying that she needed someone to live with her and that he wasn't the type of person who would ever live with a woman," Jodie explained.

But then he changed and said, "You're so beautiful, divine and it's going to be very difficult for me to see you. And I also can't afford to see you with any other man. If any of my friends speak with you, I will no longer be friends with them."

He continued by saying he still wanted to be friends and that he'd call. Jodie - without one tear - walked him to the door and said two words: Good-bye.

What's the lesson here? Jodie is telling us this story to make all of us realize the consequences of our actions. She says be cautious when dating and don't blame the other person for your own problems. "He blamed me for spending so much time together, but he was the one who did the initiating."

"In retrospect, the relationship was the most passionate I've ever had. Looking back, I feel that I was objectified. I was his California play-thing. But at the time it felt like true love. Boy was I wrong," Jodie said.

For female readers, "I think I gave him a lot of love, affection, and emotional support. I think you can't give everything you have. Men can take advantage. We woman really need to have a strong sense of self and high self-esteem. We need to realize we don't need a man to be happy. You have to establish boundaries in the relationship and the woman has to hold a certain amount of control. A strong sense of self is key."

For all readers, please be clear with your objectives. Be honest when dating. It's not just an adjective; it's a way of living.

All singles have a story to tell. What's yours? Dana Greene is an award-winning nationally syndicated columnist based in San Diego. She can be reached at danagreene1@yahoo.com.