Etz Chaim Sociable Singles brings seniors together

By Cheryl Orson
Nov. 23, 2007

Are you a single senior who's interested in meeting someone and don't where to start looking? Instead of the Internet, you might to try Etz Chaim Sociable Singles.

Noticing there were a lot of single seniors in many adult communities interested in meeting future partners, but having no dating group serving this population, a group of single senior friends decided to do something about this. As some of these friends were in involved in other social groups run by Jewish Family Services, they asked JFS for help.

Under the leadership of Jennifer Pollack of JFS, Etz Chaim Sociable Singles started as "Sociable Single Seniors" in September of 2005. Its first gathering took place at the Monroe Township Public Library. To everyone's surprise, over 140 single seniors attended this premiere event.

"It blew my mind," said Sociable Singles member Eli Trisker stating this showed the desperate need for such a group. "Everyone's always interested in a new group. People were coming out of the woodwork."

There was a problem though. The group wanted to start charging a nominal fee of $3 to cover expenses for refreshments and such, but the library and other semi-governmental public facilities don't allow groups to collect money on their property.

That's when Trisker and other sociable seniors approached Congregation Etz Chaim of Monroe Township Jewish Center with a unique mutually beneficial plan. If the synagogue would allow them to met there and charge admission, synagogue members could pitch the congregation to unaffiliated sociable singles members. Plus all money collected by the sociable singles group would go to the synagogue.

So in October 2006, the social singles group merged with Congregation Etz Chaim of Monroe Township Jewish Center and changed its name to "Etz Chaim Sociable Singles."

"We only asked three things, that they open the door, give a spiel about the temple and lock up. That's it," said Trisker the group takes care of all its own advertising and other expenses. "It's a win/win situation," he said adding many social singles have since become congregation members as well.

Since its inception, as is the group's goal, people have met at these events and become couples. Some have even gotten engaged and been married. One of these couples, Emily Brady and Roy Cook, tied the knot as late as last month. Others like Estelle Fried and Herb Kurzman have become close friends.

"Eli took me to the singles cause I was a total mess," said Fried about losing her husband of almost 50 years. "He said 'I gotta' introduce you to this man.' And I said 'Yeah, right, like I'm almost looking.'"

But at Trisker's insistence the two did meet and hit it off right away.

"He's a lovely, lovely man. So fine, so good," said Fried of Kurzman stressing that "people do meet" at these gatherings and "communicate with each other as people. "It's scary alone," she said of those who have lost longtime partners.

The group, continuing to attract a large and loyal following of seniors over 60 mostly from adult communities, still maintains its schedule of holding one event a month, usually 1-4 p.m. usually on the last Sunday of the month. The admission to their events is now $5 with the money still going to Congregation Etz Chaim. Its gatherings include entertainment, discussions, socializing and refreshments and generally, "a good time is had by all."

Those in the group feel that what they are doing is a mitzvah for the Jewish community as a whole and would like other lonely seniors out there to join the party. For more information on Etz Chaim Sociable Singles, please call (732) 251-1119.