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According to Chananya Weissman, large singles weekends at hotels are overwhelming and expensive, and randomly setting up one dater with another is such a mundane mathematical process that even a monkey could figure it out.

But a Shabbaton program of Weissman's EndTheMadness (ETM) organization -- coming to Linden this month -- is a completely different animal.

Since kicking off with a symposium on dating and shidduchim (matchmaking) at Yeshiva University in February 2003, ETM has been trying its hand at solving the notorious "shidduch crisis" with Shabbaton weekends for 36-48 people at a time in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut, as well as other events ranging from panel and informal discussions to chess tournaments and kosher tailgate parties outside sporting events.

At ETM's 2nd Annual Linden Shabbaton, Nov. 20-21 at Congregation Anshe Chesed, a group of 21 men and 21 women ages 22-32 will join hosts in the Linden community for Friday night dinner and Shabbat lunch in groups of six (three males, three females), in addition to activities for the whole group like an Oneg Shabbat and a motzei Shabbat program.

Matchmakers are quick to point out their number of successful pairings, but never reveal how many people they set up had negative experiences like uncomfortable blind dates, Weissman said. At large singles weekends, he said, participants spend a lot of money and often leave bitter and jaded.

On the other hand, ETM Shabbatons, Weissman said, are intended as fun and simple experiences in pleasant and relaxed settings, where good things naturally happen between singles without forcing the issue. Plus, the Linden Shabbaton only costs $35 per person.

"It's easy to organize, it doesn't cost a lot of money, and nobody gets hurt along the way," Weissman told The Jewish State.

"I don't believe in human sacrifice," he added.

The number of participants in an ETM Shabbaton isn't derived from a scientific formula, but most importantly it isn't the sea of faces at a large-scale singles weekend, Weissman said. Rabbi Joshua Hess, leader of Anshe Chesed, agreed.

"When you have too many people, it's hard for all the men and women to interact with one another," Hess told The Jewish State.

In a pre-Shabbaton screening process, participants are interviewed over the phone to make sure that people in the groups of six at Shabbat meals have common interests, Weissman explained.

"The meals are really the best place for people to meet," Weissman said.

ETM's Web site lists a "brief but rather complete list" of current attempts to address the shidduch crisis: matchmaking ("professional" or otherwise), singles events and activities, and wholesale introductions (mass socializing, speed dating, online dating). All of these methods have the common goal of helping singles meet one another and hoping for the best, and there are some success stories, but "difficulty in meeting is not the problem, but one of the symptoms," according to the site.

"All efforts to solve the problem by concentrating on a symptom are doomed, and serve only to confuse people," the site says.

With that in mind, the site says ETM's goal is to "give chizzuk (strength) to those who are revolted by the system but are dragged into it, intimidated by the threat of social exclusion. Let these people know that there are many thousands of serious, committed Jews all around the world who support them. Let them feel increasingly secure in discarding the chains of social pressure. Let them know that instead of perpetuating the sickness, they can perpetuate the cure."

Weissman told The Jewish State that successful matches today take place in spite of the system, not because of it.

"To me it's a shock that anybody is getting married nowadays," he said.

Hess explained that as Linden's affordable housing and proximity to New York City, the New Jersey Turnpike, and the Garden State Parkway continues to attract young couples to town, with five coming in over the past four months, the ETM Shabbaton provides a chance for singles to witness the community's benefits and possibly consider Linden and Anshe Chesed as viable options when they are married down the road.

"As we try to grow our community in Linden, we would like to have an environment where men and women of all ages can come to our community and see what it is like," Hess said.

There are still a few spots available for the EndTheMadness Linden Shabbaton. To request a reservation or for more information, please contact Reena at reena@endthemadness.com or call Anshe Chesed at (908) 486-8616. Only those who prepay for the Shabbaton, which costs $35, are guaranteed a spot.