Singles Life:
Flat Stanley to the Rescue

By Gail Simons

Making that first introduction to another single, and getting past the initial awkwardness, can be difficult. I've gone to many parties or events wanting to meet someone and leaving having not met anyone new.

Even if I see a guy I might find attractive, the most I'll do is smile and continue on my way. I'm too shy to approach a stranger. The guy has to make the introductions.

I know I'm not alone in wondering what to say in order to meet a new person because I'm often asked: How do you approach someone of the opposite sex that you are interested in?

Whether or not you are in a bar or at a park, a guy could use one of the old, passé pick-up lines: "You must be tired. (After the girl responds with a ‘why' or similar question, you continue.) Because I was chasing you in my dreams all night long."

Or here's an opener that I just heard. A guy can walk up to a group of girls and say, "Hey did you see the fight going on outside? These two girls are fighting over this guy named George! Who fights over a guy named George?" These are kind of cheesy, but hey, do what works for you.

Some people try using props as a means to break the ice. It could be a dog, a borrowed and cute infant (suggestion: a child you know), a funny t-shirt with a saying, a weird hat, or unusual piece of jewelry. Anything that helps break the ice and initiate conversation will work.

Recently, male reader Jonathan explained to me while out on a mission for his nephew he accidentally kept meeting women and realized he was on to something.

"My nephew just finished reading a story in school called Flat Stanley. The story is about a character who gets flattened by a bulletin board and becomes a half-inch thick. Since he wished to travel, his family folds him up and mails him to different destinations. So when Flat Stanley arrived in the mail, my instructions were to take him around and take pictures of him in different areas of my hometown and, when I was done, to mail him back to the school with pictures and stories of where he had been.

"I pinned Stanley to a stick so I could prop him up for photos. I took him with me all over town to diners, the post office, etc. Boy, I never imagined all the attention women would give me while accomplishing this assignment. I met four women and even got one to pose with Flat Stanley."

That Flat Stanley sure is a "babe magnet".

And here's a story from Susie, a 20-something single. She writes, "As a joke for my last birthday, my friend bought me a t-shirt from a touristy restaurant with writing across the front that says, ‘We do it all day' and on the back top it reads ‘serve' followed by the name of the restaurant. I thought it would be funny to wear the t-shirt to an upcoming party."

So, how did it work?

Susie says, "Like a charm. Men came up to me all night joking and laughing with me about the shirt. It was a great opener."

You never know what might work, but it's worth giving it a shot.

These are just some examples that some singles have successfully used to make that first introductory. Keep this analogy in mind, however: you generally cannot finish the game with your starting pitcher. An opener is just that -- an opener. Although Flat Stanley could possibly get your foot in the door, you will have to do the final close yourself.