Torah honors memory of Marc David Kissel
By Michele Alperin
As
For Marc's parents, Stanlee and
But for Kissel, dedicating this sacred text seemed an appropriate way both to honor Marc -- who although not religious was a Shakespeare expert and a lover of texts -- and to contribute to the Chabad Jewish Center.
While Marc was dying of cancer, Rabbi Mendy Herson, director of the Chabad Jewish Center, visited regularly but, at Marc's request, did not talk to him about religion -- at the hospital the rabbi wore a plain visitor's badge, not the clergy badge, said Stanlee. Rabbi Herson was also there for the Kissel parents the day Marc died, walking eight-and-a-half miles on a Shabbat to be with them. "You'll never find anybody more caring," Stanlee said.
To open the Torah celebration, Herson welcomed the crowd of about 200 and responded to a question posed originally by Mark Twain: "It makes no sense that the Jews still exist," Twain had said. Then he asked, "What is the secret of the Jews' immortality?"
"One of the answers is our honoring and valuing of the Torah," Herson said. "This celebration is about Torah, about ourselves and our own identity, and about continuity."
After the Kissels watched the scribe write the final letter of the scroll, Stanlee thanked the attendees, and said about the Torah, "We look forward to the Torah being used in the coming High Holidays and the days after. It will be a real community Torah. May it be an inspiration for all of us to follow its precepts."
He then lifted the Torah, and once it was dressed and tied, Stanlee carried it under a chuppah, or bridal canopy, decorated by the community's children. The chuppah represented the idea the Torah is the marriage contract between the Jewish people and the divine.
Stanlee and his wife led a procession of the entire community from the synagogue yard, into the street, and back into the building for dancing. People carried about 30 torches, representing the "light of Torah," and a girl held a sign that read "We are happy to have you, Torah."
As people marched and throughout the event, Cantor Choni Teitelbaum and a small band played lively Jewish music.
Elana Spector, a student at the Columbia University School of Social Work and long-time resident of Basking Ridge, said of the Torah parade: "It's pretty cool -- in Basking Ridge you don't usually see so many Jews in one place. Seeing so many people walking down the street, I almost cried."
The writing of the Torah began 10 months ago at the Grand Summit Hotel when Teicher penned the first words. During the year the scribe has also taught the children to write with a feather pen, and the children have created their own mezuzah cases.
For Herson, an event like this really cements the connections of people to the Chabad community. "Events like these are community building for a wonderful purpose," he said.
Cindy and Scott Heller of Long Hill agreed. "Some people think of Chabad only as a preschool, some as a Sunday school, and others go to High Holiday and Shabbat services," said Cindy. "Then things like this get crossovers from every group."
The Hellers had come into Chabad through Scott's father. Before he died, he was in a nursing home and visits by Herson gave him spiritual support. When Scott's father died, Herson did the funeral, and the Hellers have been involved ever since. After the birth of their first son, he went to daycare at Chabad, and he has just had his bar mitzvah, an event that the Hellers say was tailored to the unique needs of their family -- "a full life cycle," observed Cindy.
Herson explained his approach to the bar mitzvah celebration. He noted that religiously young people become bar and bat mitzvah simply by reaching the appropriate age. As a result there is no set ceremony. He studies with each child and creates with the family a Judaic celebration. "I want it to be Judaic, substantive, and meaningful," he said. "I want the kids to read from things they understand and find relevant to their own lives."
When the Kissels decided to write a Torah in Marc's memory, said Stanlee, "I figured I would end up writing a check and it would be over." But instead the Kissels' gift blossomed into a year of activities around the writing of the Torah -- "probably something that most people will only see once in their lives," noted Stanlee -- and in the process helped transform an individual tragedy into a communal mitzvah.