Singles Life: Is that the ticking of the biological clock I hear?
By Gail Simons
Special to The Jewish State
The other night, while she finished my French manicure, I was sharing a dream I had with my therapist -- a single,
40-year-old nail tech.
"So, what happened?" she asked.
"I was running around screaming as I was being chased by a large, animated grandfather clock. The sounds of a crying
baby replaced the bonging on each hour. What do you think it means?"
My nail tech set down the emery board
for a second and paused, "I think it's your biological clock sending you a message."
Wow! That's deep! I have always dreamed of having a family but it just hasn't happened yet. Was there any truth to her
comment? Does my increasing age mean I am itching to have a baby or is it just a sign that my time is running out?
I consulted a few of my other girlfriends to see how they felt about being single and childless in their 30s. Does it
make them seem more desperate in dating? Are any of them looking to take matters into their own hands and have a baby
without a husband?
One of my closest friends, who just turned 36 said, "If it hasn't happened at this point, it might never. I am starting
to think differently. Maybe I don't want to have kids anymore."
And I wonder, do older men feel this pressure from older women who want to find a secure relationship and to get
hitched quickly to start a family?
I met with my friend Dan, a tall, boyish-grinning financial advisor, to hear about the success of his latest fix up.
"I had a great time the other night with Rachel. I just felt she was a little intense, but nice.
"I've noticed what used to be more fun and carefree dating in my early 20s seems to have turned slightly more serious.
Then again, the age of the women I'm dating has changed too, from 20s to now 30s and 40s," Dan explained.
"Remember Sheila who I dated for a few months? She just turned 40. She always talked about her strong desire to have
children. The last time we spoke, she started the process of adopting a baby from China. She said she felt she missed
the opportunity to have a child on her own and now she didn't want to keep waiting to find a husband," Dan said.
Women are choosing to wait longer to get married. Instead of settling down to start a family in their early 20s,
they are pursuing careers and furthering their educations. Men, too, are following and waiting until they're a little
older.
And, because women are putting off marriage, when they do meet "the one" it's understandable that they want to start
a family immediately due to the small window of opportunity they might have left in their reproductive life.
In other words, women's biological clocks are ticking! The truth is, an 18-to-21-year-old has an easier time getting
pregnant than a 35-year-old. I didn't say it was more desirable -- just a fact.
The percentage of single women having babies is increasing as well. But, it's not the teenagers getting pregnant
like one would think; these are older women who have established careers and a good home.
Another guy friend told me the girl he started dating said she was considering being inseminated if she wasn't
married by the end of the year (just a little bit of added pressure on a new relationship).
I wouldn't say I agree or disagree with these methods to be a mother, but I certainly can understand the desire for
motherhood by whatever means. As each year goes by, my future prospects of having a child are changing. My own
mortality has become a factor, too. I once dreamed of having several children, but now I might also have to start
thinking otherwise. I'm still not ready to make the decision to be a single parent.
Although time is not on my side, I'm just going to keep ignoring that soft tick-ticking and hope those nightmares
will soon pass. Typical of my old fashion self, I'm going to keep holding on to my belief that some day soon I will
meet someone and things will fall into place. All it takes is a little faith. 